I’m not a very good artist. I’ve always loved to draw and paint and make just about anything with my hands. In elementary and high school I felt like I was the bomb.com and was that kid that got published in “Exposures.” Well, I got to college and got a rude awakening.
Not only am I not very good, I SUCK. Next to some of these talented artists that can create an oil painting that looks exactly like a picture, or a student that could paint the most interesting abstract point of view- my art, is just…mediocre.
I took this past weekend off of social media (especially my Poppy Things instagram) and used that time that I would’ve been scrolling and counting “likes” to refocus and get my shit together. I’m one of those people that gets mad when I see a couple out to dinner on a date, but they’re both on their phones. Now- Jason and I make a point to be fully present when we’re on dates or on walks, etc. But for some reason, lately I am ADDICTED to my phone. And I’m sick of it. I needed a break.
Between snapchat to facebook to instagram and pinterest, I just had enough. I was spending hours upon hours after work scrolling, engaging, writing posts to get more followers. When I went to bed on Thursday night I thought to my self, “holy crap, you did not go outside or make art all week.” I used that time investing in a virtual world that doesn’t do my mind, body, or soul any good or advance my brand in real life.
So, back to the point - I suck at art right? This weekend I painted anyway. I wrote a list of all of the subjects I’ve been wanting to paint, all of the prints I have ideas for, and I just sketched my little heart out and started filling in my sketches with paint.
IT FELT SO GOOD… It felt good to let my pencil take off on it's own, it felt good to not think so hard. So who cares if I am not the best artist, it is an escape. I have been thinking so much and spreading myself so thin to the point of illness lately. I’ve been so dizzy and nauseous and the second I wake up I think about going back to bed. I haven’t even written my thoughts down in almost A YEAR. Not that many people read this, but I love having this out there just incase someone wants to get a glimpse inside my brain. And it helps me, too.
I started reading “Girl, Wash Your Face” because my friend let me borrow it. Honestly, I went into reading it with an attitude because I really hate how I see 5 million influencers on Instagram always starting their posts with “you got this girl” or “you do you babe” ugh it makes me cringe. Anyway, so far I have mixed feelings about the book, but what stuck in my brain was when she wrote a few pages about how she was constantly looking for the next best thing. The next thing to succeed at, the next product to market, the next idea to convey. And how all of the thinking and not enough “me” time led to physical illness.
I was lying in bed with a major headache when I read that part and thought, “Holy shit, that’s me!” So the point is, who cares if you suck at painting. If it makes you happy, DO IT. Take the time to take care of yourself. Investing in yourself will make you so much more productive and useful for your brand, your job, your significant other, whatever it is— taking time for yourself isn’t selfish.
Wine clinks to you, have the best week!